Why do so many young people feel lonely – despite relationships, work and city life?
Loneliness is no longer a marginal issue in modern societies. Recent social and economic research shows that a growing number of young adults experience a persistent sense of inner emptiness, even while being employed, socially active and in relationships. Large cities, often associated with opportunity, diversity and constant interaction, appear to intensify this contradiction: many contacts, but little emotional closeness and a weakened sense of belonging. This is reported by NT24, citing insights published by the psychology and mindfulness platform Glück ID.
Lonely despite social stability
Lukasz is 25 years old. He lives in a shared apartment in Berlin, has a girlfriend and several acquaintances. On paper, his life looks stable and socially integrated. Yet he repeatedly experiences a deep sense of loneliness. What he misses are not people as such, but meaningful and reliable connections.
The feeling becomes particularly strong after work, when there are no plans and silence fills the evening. To cope, he distracts himself with series, music or endless scrolling on his phone. The relief, however, is short-lived. The emptiness returns once the distraction fades.
Big cities and emotional distance
Lukasz grew up near Poznań in Poland and moved to Berlin seven years ago. While he had felt lonely at times before, the move to Germany intensified the experience. New cities offer freedom and anonymity, but they also dismantle familiar social structures. Building new, stable relationships takes time and often remains superficial at first.
Mental health experts point out that young adulthood is a particularly vulnerable phase of life. Moving cities, entering the labour market and redefining one’s identity often happen simultaneously. In this context, the anonymity of large cities can become emotionally overwhelming rather than liberating.
The numbers behind the feeling
Recent data supports these individual experiences. Studies show that around 19 percent of adults in Germany report feeling lonely on a regular basis. Among young adults, the figures are significantly higher: up to half of people aged between 18 and 35 experience recurring loneliness at certain stages of their lives.
While loneliness itself is not classified as a mental illness, research consistently links it to an increased risk of depression, anxiety disorders and substance abuse. In some cases, loneliness acts as a trigger; in others, it is the consequence of underlying psychological conditions.
When loneliness is the result, not the cause
Nico, now 39, describes a different path. Growing up in central Germany, he had several social circles and was often surrounded by people. Yet the feeling of emptiness accompanied him for years.
“I was surrounded by people, had friends, conversations, plans – and still there was this constant feeling of being empty inside. It felt as if something essential was missing, even though I couldn’t name it,” Nico recalls.
Over time, the feeling of not being truly seen or heard led to emotional isolation, even in social settings. Only during therapy did he realise that his loneliness was not caused by a lack of contacts, but by an untreated mental health condition.
After a relationship breakdown, Nico developed substance abuse problems and gradually lost stability. In 2023, therapy brought clarity. Alongside addiction, he was diagnosed with a personality disorder characterised by a strong need for recognition. Understanding this connection helped him reframe his experiences and seek appropriate support.
Talking as a way out of isolation
Today, Nico lives without alcohol or drugs, attends self-help groups and is socially active again. The feeling of loneliness has not disappeared entirely, but it no longer dominates his life. Speaking openly about it, he says, reduces its weight.
Lukasz shares a similar experience. Therapy and participation in a self-help group for young adults helped him realise that loneliness is not a personal failure, but a widespread phenomenon. Recognising this has made it easier for him to talk about his emotions and seek connection.
Being alone is not the same as being lonely
Experts emphasise the crucial difference between being alone and feeling lonely. Solitude can be chosen and restorative. Loneliness, by contrast, is marked by the perception that the state cannot be changed through one’s own actions. It is this sense of helplessness that makes loneliness so psychologically damaging.
Understanding this distinction is an important step towards addressing the problem. Loneliness does not disappear through more appointments or digital interaction alone. What many young adults lack is not activity, but emotional resonance.
Support and help – confidential and free
Telephone counselling (Germany, 24/7)
☎ 0800 111 0 111
☎ 0800 111 0 222
☎ 116 123
Crisis support (Berlin)
☎ 0800 655 655 5
International support (English-speaking)
☎ Samaritans (UK): +44 (0)8457 90 90 90
Stay connected for news that works — timely, factual, and free from opinion — and insights that matter now: Ratings Shock at RTL: Why the new "Denn sie wissen nicht, was passiert" cast failed